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Maybe that special someone is not as far out of reach as you think. Maybe what you need are a few effective strategies to finally make the right moves. Even if you’re very shy, a little on the quiet side, or simply not the social success you’d like to be, Love Tactics is here to help.
This book presents dozens of techniques designed to help you win the love of that special someone. With each tactic, you’ll find yourself becoming more enthusiastic, confident, and eager to approach the person of your dreams in an effort to win his or her love. Then, for those who have already found a romantic partner but have lost or are in danger of losing that person, the authors present tactics for winning back a lost love. The dream is in sight—and Love Tactics is all you need to make that dream a reality.
Thomas W. McKnight is a human relations expert whose columns have appeared in leading singles newspapers and magazines. He has conducted relationship workshops throughout the country, and has appeared on numerous radio and television shows, including Oprah.
Robert H. Phillips is a psychologist and the director of the Center for Coping in New York. He is also the best-selling author of eight books.
Contents
Introduction
PART ONE Winning the One You Want
1. General Strategy
2. Acting with Self-Assurance
Be Nice to Yourself
Identify Your Goals
Relax!
Talk with Confidence
Know What You Want in a Prospective Mate
Plan Out Where to Meet Others
3. Taking the Offensive
Be First to Show Interest in the Other
Go for One Date at a Time
Avoid Being Defensive
4. Making Time an Ally
Take Your Time (Go Slowly)
Be Attentive on a Regular Basis
Be Persistent
5. Pacifying Their Fears and Gaining Their Trust
Show You Care But Don’t Say It!
6. Being Irresistibly Likable
Light Up!
Show Those Pearly Whites (Smile)!
Speak with Enthusiasm!
Talk Positively
Discuss the Other Person’s Interests
Use Flattery
Understay Your Welcome
Be Graceful in the Face of Rejection
7. Exhibiting Self-Mastery and Leadership Ability
Plan Out Dates
Demonstrate Independent Thinking
Communicate Your Personal Destiny
Be Unpredictable
Act Indifferently to What They Think of You
Don’t Fish for Feedback
Show Anger When Appropriate
Show Forgiveness After Expressing Anger
8. Cultivating Their Emotional Dependence
Actually Be There (In Person!)
Listen Reflectively
Avoid Being Critical
Express Genuine Admiration and Praise
Supply Sympathy
9. Shaking Their Confidence 97
Use Silence
Drop ’em Cold!
Create Competition
Break a Date!
10. Keeping Them Interested and Hoping
Pop Back Into Their Life
Send Mementos
Awaken Physical Attraction
11. Confronting Diplomatically
Confront Resistant Behavior
12. Demonstrating Commitment 1
Hang in There!
Say “I Love You ”
13. Removing Final Barriers
Strategically Withdraw
Enjoy Being with the One You Want!
PART TWO Winning Back the One You’ve Lost
14. Learning How to Win Back a Lost Love
Decide if It’s Worth It
Know When to “Cut Your Losses ”
15. Showing a Willingness to Change
Assess Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Be Willing to Change and Grow
Create Some Excitement
16. Fixing Communication Skills
Start a Healing Conversation
Keep Interactions Warm
Understand Don’t Just Agree; Listen Don’t Just Hear
Keep on Stroking
Insist Don’t Plead
17. Using Attention Wisely
Demonstrate the Advantage of You
Give Freely of Your Love
Share Quality Time
Share Burdens and Responsibilities
18. Being a Successful Competitor
Face Your Rival
Withhold What They Want
Be Persistent and Consistent
Suggest Conditions for Reconciliation
Give the Other Person a Vacation from You
Consider a Professional Third-Party Viewpoint
Evaluate Who is Winning the Game
Don’t Settle for a Relationship That Requires Force
Proceed with Faith
Final Words
About the Authors
Introduction
The reason is very clear why Love Tactics has become a perennial bestseller over the last two decades. Why? The answer is painfully obvious to anyone who has ever felt the agonizing frustration of not having their love reciprocated.
Isn’t it ironic that in spite of the many technological advances made within the last century, people today are still as frustrated as ever in their quest for true love? Our society is full of individuals who have disappointedly abandoned their idealistic dreams of romantic fulfillment. It almost seems a law of nature that the one you want never wants you back, while the ones who are interested in you are simply incapable of stirring your emotions! Love forever looms on the horizon, but is just out of reach.
Many have given up, deciding that nothing can be done to alter an apparently loveless destiny. They have resigned themselves to going through life, taunted by the prospects of love, but never truly possessing it. You may have experienced such feelings of helplessness yourself. If so, then this book is the answer to your prayers.
Love Tactics demonstrates why there is a very real reason not to give up hope. Love is not the mere result of chance meetings determined by pure luck. Believe it or not, love is a predictable human response! It results whenever a person’s key psychological needs are satisfied. It’s true that, on occasion, love does seem to occur accidentally. But even in these cases, such relationships still conform to the principles of romantic behavior outlined in this book. Anyone who chooses to consciously apply these rules of love in an intelligent manner need not go through life unloved. Succeeding in romance, then, only requires becoming aware of your ability to modify and influence the emotional moods, attitudes, and behaviors of others through well-proven psychological techniques. We’re not talking about taking unfair advantages—just using strategic common sense!
As you can probably imagine, it would be impossible to include all the different strategies, techniques, and tips that can possibly be used in winning the one you want. So Love Tactics provides the basic formula from which you will be able to derive your own solution to your particular circumstances. As you read the book, you’ll find yourself becoming more enthusiastic, confident, and eager to approach others in your goal to win the person of your dreams.
Divided into two main sections, Love Tactics presents dozens of techniques that are designed to help you in the most exciting search-and-succeed activities of your life. These strategies, which are found in Part One, will help you win the love of that special someone. Part Two goes a step further by helping those who feel they have already found their love, but have lost or are in danger of losing that person. How to win back another person’s love is the theme of this section.
Not all of the strategies found in Love Tactics are suitable for every situation. Different approaches work better than others, depending on the particular need of the moment. Experience will help you see which tactics are best suited for different conditions. Nonetheless, you’ll also learn that certain fundamental principles of psychology always apply, and are the basis for your selection of tactics.
You must nurture friendship, respect, and passion in order to win the heart of the one you want. This fundamental understanding is the bedrock foundation of the Love Tactics strategy, and the way to ultimately win. Trust that if you cultivate the relationship properly, you will ultimately reap a magnificent harvest!
Of the many lessons you’ll learn in Love Tactics, remember this important truth above all else: The way to true love is not to sit back and wait for the person of your dreams to magically appear. Rather, it involves choosing the one you want above all others, and then winning them over using known principles of human romantic behavior.
Yes, you can win the one you want! You can also win back the one you’ve lost! You don’t have to settle for anything (or anyone) less. The dream is in sight! It’s merely a matter of psychology. Love Tactics will acquaint you with the science of human behavior as it relates to love and romance, and teach you how to win the one you want!
