It’s no secret that life can be hard. The emotional pain that comes with being human is often met with sadness, depression, loneliness, anger, or even rage. These reactions lead to more pain, and so a cycle of negativity is created. These days there is no shortage of pharmaceuticals being recommended to alleviate this type of suffering, but most of these drugs have potential side effects that could be worse than the problems themselves. And what's more, they address only the symptoms of emotional pain, not the pain itself. Untwisted offers a different perspective on the subject and presents a unique step-by-step approach to breaking this cycle for good.

Most of us go about our days under the delusion that happiness and fulfillment are feelings we need to search for in the outside world. This is twisted thinking. This book reveals that these concepts are not found beyond ourselves but rather lie within, and that we may achieve them by remembering a truth that has been with each and every one of us all along. Untwisted will guide you back to this truth and, in doing so, heal your emotional pain and bring you back to joy, your natural state.

Untwisted proposes a proven drug-free technique you can use to eliminate the root cause of your emotional wounds and transform your life for the better. By following the simple but powerful practices described in this book, you may begin to untangle yourself from the sadness, loneliness, depression, and anger that have had you feeling tied up for so long.

Ted Anders, PhD, studied psychology, religion, and history at Furman University, where he earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology. He went on to attend the University of Georgia, where he completed his master’s and doctoral degrees in the field of educational psychology. Using his own management and operations technique, he has advised healthcare institutions, school systems, manufacturers, retail giants, and luminaries such as the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

He created the LifeLift Experience seminars to help others let go of painful, self-limiting beliefs and achieve sustainable inner peace and joyful creative freedom. His program, the LoveLight Campaign, coordinates these seminars and promotes the idea that every human being is an embodiment of love capable of bringing balance and harmony to the world.

Ted resides in Ocala, Florida, where he continues to dedicate his professional life to fostering spiritual awareness in leaders from all walks of life in the hope of creating a world that works for everyone.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Preface

Introduction

1. Twisted

2. What Has Been Stopping You?

3. The Greatest Truth

4. What Got You Twisted?

5. Awakening as Love

6. Loving All

Conclusion

Afterword

A New Contract

Resources

About the Author

Index

"Combining elements of A Course in Miracles, developmental/transpersonal/cognitive psychology, Buddhist mindfulness, and just a touch of physics, Untwisted seeks to take us through the mire of misbelief most humans accumulate in childhood so that we can reconnect with the spiritual/light/love core of our beings . . . [Anders' book] stands out for its directness, brevity, and loving direction toward a less stressful life that also contributes to a world which empowers, rather than enslaves."

“A book that can change your life ... Any book that speaks about love as a pathway to personal freedom is definitely a book that can change your life, and that I want to suggest we all read. I hope you’ll take the opportunity to do so.”

"Untwisted proposes a proven drug-free technique you can use to eliminate the root cause of your emotional wounds and transform your life for the better. Thoroughly 'reader friendly' in organization and presentation, following the simple but powerful practices described in Untwisted is an ideal start to untangling from persistent sadness, loneliness, depression, and anger."

Acknowledgments

I would like to thank my sponsor, William Elmhirst, who saw the value of my work and provided sabbatical support with legacy funds from his mother, Dorothy Whitney (Elmhirst), who helped found The New Republic and the Dartington Community. With deep gratitude, I would also like to thank my parents, Rev. Charles Dean Anders and Dr. Mary Rohn Anders; my daughter and her partner, Hannah Anders and Daniel Ford; my daughter, Natalie Anders; Dr. Jose Delgado-Elvir and his family members in Honduras, Spain, France, and Germany; my mentors, Virginia Wadsworth and Denise Stone at Watersong Sanctuary in Boulder, Colorado; Michael Lightweaver at Mountain Light Sanctuary in Asheville, North Carolina; Dr. Carl Buchheit at NLP Marin; and my sisters, Rebecca Anders and Lori Anders.

I would also like to express my deep respect for the editing talents of Lisa McCourt and Michael Weatherhead. Lisa took the rough draft of this book and used her skills as an author and editor to make the material easy to read and absorb. Michael then patiently and thoughtfully edited the book line by line, clarifying its messages for today’s busy readers. After years of reading other authors’ acknowledgments of their editors, I have now developed my own heartfelt admiration of the craft thanks to Lisa and Michael.

Finally, I would like to thank Frank Gromling of Ocean Publishing. He published a previous book of mine, taking rather challenging material pertaining to tropical botanicals and turning it into a provocative adventure story. He also introduced me to Rudy Shur of Square One Publishers, my current publisher, to whom I am very grateful. Rudy patiently took the time to coach me on how I could write a book for a wider audience than I was used to addressing. His guidance and encouragement sparked a flame in me.

Foreword

I first met Ted at a gathering hosted by mutual friends Sir Tom and Lady Marion Hunter at their villa in St. Jean Cap Ferrat in the South of France. As the leadership development and management operations adviser to Tom’s sportswear company, Ted had recently assisted Tom in making the decision to sell his company at a very opportune moment. Tom was also a shareholder of my company, Ultimo lingerie and swimwear brand. Impressed with Ted’s acumen, Tom suggested that Ted advise my husband and me at the time through the tough personal and professional growth steps required for us to achieve similar success with Ultimo. That evening we sat with Ted by the Hunters’ pool overlooking the Côte d’Azur and crafted a plan to work together.

Ted became a trusted adviser, supporting my husband and me through a decade-long journey in keeping our company intact. Little did we know how challenging that journey would be, as we dedicated every ounce of our energy and every penny we could muster to maintain our upward momentum. As the pressures continued to build, Ted spent many late nights counseling us, guiding us to face the personal fears, doubts, and painful limiting beliefs that were draining our energy, health, and joy. We’d head to the office together each day, eager to apply our newfound insight and performance-enhancing skills. Unfortunately, after riding this emotional and financial roller coaster for some time, my husband and I split up. We were both carrying too much unprocessed pain for it to have gone any other way. I bought his stake in the company and eventually sold Ultimo.

During the divorce and afterward, I turned to Ted frequently for guidance in examining my personal self-limiting beliefs, fears, and hidden pain. Although I had been around Ted’s profound teachings for many years, I realized I hadn’t been applying them deeply enough to my own life to make the changes I knew had become necessary. It wasn’t that I wasn’t capable of making these changes. It was just that, like all of us, I was running negative, limiting self-talk programs in my head, which threatened my internal peace. For example, I was holding a subconscious belief that if I were unsuccessful, no one would love me.

I knew I could not create the next phase of my life while carrying dreadful self-doubt about myself and my future. Despite all the success I’d had professionally, inside I still felt like the insecure, impoverished fat girl from the working class of Glasgow. Can you believe it? I was a multimillionaire living in a wonderful new home I’d recently decorated, having just sold my company to one of the largest clothing manufacturers in the world. My three children were healthy teenagers and getting on rather well despite the tough divorce. My social life was overflowing with an amazing global network of celebrities and business leaders. Yet there I was in the middle of it all, feeling absolutely, desperately alone, sure of my ugliness and ultimate demise as a poor, old woman.

That’s when I called Ted and asked him to fly over from the States and take me through his new seminar. Ted came immediately and we began the next phase of our work together. We dug through my painful, long-hidden beliefs about myself to discover the central, defining subconscious thought that was robbing me of the joy and peace that should have been mine. It turned out that my major underlying assumptions, the basic ideas driving my actions and choices in life, were: I am fat, ugly, and will end up alone and impoverished. And I deserve this because I am totally unworthy of love.

To see these words on paper, spread out by Ted on a large banner across my kitchen table, was the stimulus I needed to begin letting go of these colossal untruths.

We peeled deeper and deeper through my hidden limitations, until eventually nothing was left but the quintessential truth: I am love. I am generous, and I create beauty and joy in the world. This deep realization washed over me, finally generating the life-altering awakening I’d been thirsting for. Over the next several months, I worked hard to hold on to my actual truth using the tools Ted had shared with me. I came to understand that I deserve to experience love simply by being love. My fear of failure and being alone began to fade bit by bit. It happened organically, seamlessly, as I simply allowed my truth to be evident to myself.

As I maintained the positive emotions of being love and being naturally lovable, amazing things began to occur. I was asked to be the face of British Airways and appeared in their ads wearing swimwear draped in the Union Jack flag. And I must say, when I saw myself in the ad photos, I thought I looked fabulous. I did not see the ugly girl I once thought I was. Then Bentley Motors called and asked me to represent them as well! What an honor—and what fun!

Meanwhile, I practiced learning how to hold on to my truth and communicate it. I became steadily wiser about the difference between needing love from someone else and simply being love myself. I learned it is so much better to be love and share it with someone who also knows how to be love than it is to be in a relationship defined only by seeking love from each other. I’d learned from experience that the desperate need to pull love from other humans is not healthy, nor is it sustainable.

While learning to live as love, I became a global speaker, hoping to inspire people around the world. Ted and I decided to share what he had taught me by running mentoring weekends. Together, we agreed to co-facilitate private, exclusive mentoring sessions for UK business leaders. Attendees were amazed to “wake up” and discover themselves as endless, creative love. They began to dissolve their limiting beliefs, which were holding them back. We followed up with them after a few months had passed and were thrilled to hear that they had broken through “being stuck” by their untrue beliefs and were experiencing considerable new achievements.

From personal experience, I can offer this indisputable truth: We are all massively powerful, unbelievably impassioned beings fueled by the natural, loving desire to express ourselves creatively, meaningfully, and helpfully in the world. This truth is the core essence of healthy entrepreneurship and business leadership. I believe I was meant to learn and bring to the world of entrepreneurial economic development through my role in the House of Lords.

I have experienced many tough lessons along the way, struggling just to like myself, much less love myself, while learning to create a meaningful life. Now, I am doing my best, some days more so than others, to practice being love and experiencing life fully. This message is one I want to share with the world as I travel to uplift leaders and staff in businesses and governments. When we wake up to our truth, all things are possible. This book provides a powerful starting point for your own awakening. Enjoy the journey!

—Lady Michelle Mone, Baroness of Mayfair OB

Member of the House of Lords

Preface

I wrote this book because it is time for all of us to remember our common nature, which is limitless, joyful, endlessly creative, unending love. Nothing less. We are the expression of God in human form. Our essence is the same as God’s, which is all-knowing, all-powerful, ever-expanding love and light. We are one with the source of all and with everyone else. Therefore, our loving intentions naturally command resources of the universe. The only force that blocks this awesome truth from being the dominant experience in our lives is the fact that we believe we are something less.

If you believe you are less, you become dominated by fear and self-doubt, desperately grasping for safety, security, and meaning. Humans have been living under this delusion for far too long—so long, in fact, that we now risk our own extinction within the next hundred years. Such is the force of our twisted thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. Fortunately, we can each wake up and remember the truth of our common essence rather quickly now that new self-awareness techniques have become more widely available. I wrote this book as a means for you to wake up as God’s powerful expression, and to ensure that false assumptions no longer dominate your life. Once your thoughts and feelings are unblocked, you will exhibit the power of divine, creative love. You will spontaneously help heal the world by being love in every moment, in every situation.

You are the source of creative love, which can save our planet and our species from the cumulative effects of our self-generated limitations. Please, go ahead and feel it. You know you are love, and as love you are meant to lead a life of joy and freedom. I want you to experience the direct revelation of God’s nature within you, so that you can shed the limitations and unwarranted fears that have been keeping you from the life you desire—the life that is meant to be yours. I also want you to experience this revelation so that you can help reverse the dangerous trends our collective delusions continue to fuel.

It is my purpose in this lifetime to bring this information to you. I was born the son of a Southern Baptist minister and school teacher in Virginia. I grew up believing that the way to a meaningful life lay in experiencing the love of God and expressing it in self-sacrificial service to others. My parents taught me to follow the model of Jesus of Nazareth, and to understand that the same Holy Spirit resides in each of us. Although I have remained intuitively aligned with this idea of being one with the Christ Consciousness of unconditional, unlimited love, I became disillusioned early on with many of my Church’s theological and social positions. Many of its fundamentalist ideas seemed toxic and unsettling. These early concerns sparked a fascinating, illuminating, and awe-inspiring spiritual journey that continues to unfold.

To augment my psychology doctoral perspective, I have studied all major world religions and gathered insights from illuminating experiences all across the globe at every level of society. When I was a young biblical studies student in Israel and Istanbul, I delved into the ancient Hebrew and Egyptian roots of Christianity. I also investigated Christianity’s early Greek roots, including the concept of theosis, which refers to the process of coming into union with God and achieving a likeness to God so much so that one participates in the divine nature. I also studied the history of Islam and Judaism with great interest. I remember praying during Ramadan on top of the Temple Mount in Jerusalem outside the Dome of the Rock shrine with 150,000 devout Muslims and observing the fervent devotion and awe they expressed for Allah. Following the Islamic prayers, I walked down to the Wailing Wall below and experienced nearly identical fervor among the Orthodox Jews praying to Jehovah.

The juxtaposition of these experiences highlighted for me how similar the hearts and minds of humans are, despite our different dogmas. While studying the history of the region, I witnessed the unrest amongst its three major religions. I roamed the Israeli and Palestinian countryside, gaining even more perspective on these opposing groups and furthering my desire to create spiritual bridgework for all humanity.

Later in life, I was blessed to work closely with His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama and his sister Madame Jetsun Pema. Our mission was to help update and improve the Tibetan school system for the refugee population that had spread throughout India. During these years, I had the opportunity in both public and private sessions to experience the nature and power of spirit largely unfettered by human ego. The Dalai Lama’s soul has incarnated many times, and as a result, his body and brain no longer require the defense system of his ego. He is unattached to the grand delusions that cause the general, mass misconceptions most of us operate within every day of our lives. Unburdened by these delusions, the Dalai Lama exudes the naturally spontaneous, healing, loving essence of God, or Source. It flows through him in the manner most often associated with the healing stories of Jesus.

My daughter Natalie experienced deep psychological and emotional healing during one of our visits to his home in Dharamsala. It was a significant moment for me as well, as it confirmed for me what Jesus Christ encourages us all to do, which is to go into the world with healing love because this is our natural ability, as it is His. He hosted the healing power of the Divine (or the Holy Spirit, in Christian terms). All humans, however, have the same potential. We need only untwist ourselves from the untruths that keep us from realizing our true essence, as masters such as Buddha, Moses, Jesus, and the Dalai Lama have done. Once you are able to release yourself from your false assumptions about yourself, the truth will be revealed to you. You will attain mastery of your being and live at your highest level of consciousness. You will know you are love and light, laughing at the grand egotistical delusions we humans embrace.

While advising several Nobel Peace laureates, my commitment to awakening people of all faith backgrounds to the fact that we are all one was solidified. Observing these leaders of thought closely as I traveled with them, I found myself upon several occasions enjoying the unique opportunity of being with nearly all the living laureates in one room at the same time. I will never forget watching Archbishop Desmond Tutu, His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, and Betty Williams all goad and tease each other like little kids, without the slightest concern for their egos or their images. The contagious laughter during such moments was profoundly soul-deep, as all their outward differences disappeared, leaving only a unified field of joy.

Lovingly laughing at themselves, these teachers showed me that such laughter dissolves our defenses and leads us to common ground. Humans don’t want to hate one another. It is not our natural tendency to hate. Hatred happens when we are threatened or live according to false beliefs and fears. In the spirit of soulful laughter and joyful unity, we can access our unlimited creativity and universal resources to bring our species and planet back from the brink of destruction through collaborative solutions.

I believe setting the world on a path to love, to an existence as love, is not only possible but imperative. It is already our truth. We simply need to realize and accept this fact. In order to fulfill my commitment to this goal, I have created a simple, straightforward awakening seminar called the “LifeLift Experience.” Since its inception, the majority of participants have been able to recognize themselves as unconditional, unlimited love and light within a matter of hours. I call this state of consciousness “LoveLight.” It is our state of natural mastery. All of us are masters in this state of awareness. We can all create and lead constructive change for good through our omnipotent power as universal love.

These seminars were then made even more powerful through my collaboration with Dr. Colby Collins, who added brilliant techniques and insights. We continue to observe awe-inspiring awakenings with the vast majority of LifeLift participants. To spread this work and advance the cause of global awakening, I have initiated an apolitical movement called “The LoveLight Campaign.” This campaign is supported by a network of like-minded, awakening humans who are striving in their own ways to fulfill our common mission: to awaken the human population as Love, living and working in the Light of this basic truth. We hope to create a domino effect that will lead to a world that works better for everyone on a planet restored by love.

Dr. Ted Anders

Introduction

So many of us awake each morning feeling twisted inside. We force ourselves to get dressed and begin our days in a world that seems oppressive, unyielding, and beyond our control. It’s hard to recall the last moment of true happiness we experienced. If you are one of the millions of people who are caught in this web of unhappiness, I am here to tell you it absolutely does not have to be this way. You have the capability of experiencing sustained joy, pervasive peace, and enduring contentment. There is a way to break free from your perceived limitations, which are based on habitually negative thoughts and false beliefs about yourself and life. In fact, the only reason you are not experiencing happiness and peace is that you, like almost every human being, have been tied up by these harmful ideas and the fear that accompanies them.

This fear causes you to seek satisfaction and security in the attainment of material goods or in the domination of others. You follow the path that seems sure to lead to happiness only to find that this feeling does not last long after you’ve seized that which you thought you lacked. Your fear returns. Your need to quiet this fear takes over once more. You go down another path, reach your goal, soon feel dissatisfied again, and then start down another road, and another, and another. Before long, you’ve turned every which way and can no longer see the point at which you began. You have become twisted by the fear that arose from your erroneous beliefs, which you have taken for granted for longer than you can recall.

So, what are these false beliefs, these thoughts that run through your mind like a hamster on a treadmill? They may be different for different people, but they all share a common link: disconnection. “He is better than me,” “I want what she has,” “My car isn’t good enough,” “I need a bigger house,” “I will be happy when I get . . . ,” and “Why does he get all the breaks but I don’t?”—each of these thoughts is derived from a feeling of being separate from others. As complicated as life may seem, these complications will give way to peace once you recognize your true nature, which is that you are a being of divine love, as is everyone on this planet. It is this divine love that connects us all. In a very real sense, we are all one. Only by recognizing this fact can you untwist yourself from the knot of fruitless paths you have taken over the years.

Whether by divine direction or plain good luck, you hold in your hands a book that has been designed to guide you towards the sole path to lasting happiness, which is the understanding that you and everyone else is made of divine love, the knowledge that you are not separate from anyone. This text offers a straightforward series of reflections and activities to help you shake off your negative habits and awaken to a consciousness of infinite joy and universal interconnection.

I have witnessed this miracle of awakening countless times. Students of the techniques outlined in this book have described reaching an all-encompassing awareness of their oneness with others, of being part of the Divine, which I call “Love” with a capital “L.” I describe this epiphany as “waking up as Love” because this realization is similar to waking from sleep and starting your day each morning. You don’t have to think about who you are once you’ve awoken from your slumber; you don’t have to make an effort to be yourself; you simply are. Once you’ve come to the understanding that Love is not outside yourself but within yourself and everyone else, you will not have to worry about negative habits or harmful trains of thought. They will disappear as soon as they arise. You will have untwisted your mind.

Unfortunately, our culture is living under a mass delusion that we are separate from Love. This delusion leads to a feeling of emptiness. We then try to fill this emptiness by acquiring, collecting, amassing, hoarding, or controlling things. These reactions are the results of twisted thinking. The truth is, however, that we do not need to reach, strive, or grasp for anything in order to feel divine love, or Love, because we are Love. It is what makes us human. Love is the unique impulse that animates our common form. No false, limiting thoughts can endure for more than a moment of gentle amusement in this highest state of being, this awakening as Love. You’ll be able to make the creative, unlimited choices necessary to rescue and uplift yourself, humanity, other species, and even the planet.

This book begins by showing you how we all create and carry pain-driven beliefs about ourselves, delusions that border on insanity. It explains how damaging these thought patterns can be to your life and to the lives of others. It outlines the process by which you hold on to pain that does not truly belong to you. It clarifies the way in which this adopted pain forms the basis of your limitations, from its effects on your personality and daily choices to your experience of the environment that surrounds you. You will find that this pain will hurt you and those around you if you do not wake up to the reality of who you are, which is Love.

You will then be guided through a set of reflective activities that will lead you to the awesome, jaw-dropping “a-ha” moment when you wake up and experience the deep knowledge that you are unconditional Love, and that there is nothing wrong with you. Finally, I will explain why it is time for our species as a whole to rouse itself from the sleep of unconscious negativity and embrace the awareness of being divinely interconnected.

As Buddha and Jesus taught, and as the Dalai Lama and others still teach, when you let go of your attachments to painful thoughts, objects, situations, you are immediately free to observe the world in peace. When you let go of your false beliefs about yourself, they are spontaneously and lovingly replaced by truth. In this state of true consciousness, you experience the bliss of endless peace and love, with no urgency or requirement to do anything. Yet this peaceful state also fosters a curious, helpful, creative readiness to do anything that might further the intentions of Love on Earth.

As you begin your journey, you will be led step-by-step to your own awakening, your own untwisting. You will first wake up from your delusional belief system to realize you are Love. You will relax into this truth, allowing your ego to lower its defenses, which it has built over time to keep you safe from imagined dangers. You will then enter your natural state of divine consciousness. It has always been there, prompting you to wake up and urging you to release yourself from your pain. It would never force this process on you but has been patiently waiting for you to be ready to take your first step.

If you are reading this book, I believe you are ready. It is your nature and right to experience all the joy, peace, and abundance that come with this highest state of awareness. Looking for happiness and fulfillment down every shiny new path is exhausting. In our exhaustion, we become thoughtless, harming ourselves and the planet through greed, selfishness, and anger. We never find peace. We end up twisted and tired. But you need not tire yourself any longer. You can become untwisted. You need simply to wake up.